you can’t always get what you want

oh but if you never try you’ll never know
just what you’re worth
– coldplay; fix you

guess I’m still stuck here and unable to move,
unless you want to take another leap of faith.

but what faith do I have
in this fickle universe of inconstants

(yes, I know that isn’t a noun, but fuck off)


Batiste; Dry Shampoo (Cherry)

Dry shampoo is basically a type of powder ‘shampoo’ that absorbs the grease from your hair without needing to use regular liquid-based shampoo or rinsing with water.

As you know, in order to extend the lifespan of coloured hair, especially when it’s an unnatural colour, you should wait up to three days before washing it with water. However, what happens if you tend to get greasy hair if you don’t wash it daily? That’s when the dry shampoo steps in. With a few sprays here and there, you can eliminate (or at least reduce) the grease from your roots, and get on with your day with clean smelling hair.

I knew I needed a dry shampoo, but I had no real opinion about Batiste or any other brands of dry shampoo available on the shelf. The main draw for me was the fact that the Batiste dry shampoos came in two sizes, the original 200ml or a mini 50ml travel size. I got the mini size as a sort of trial, since I wasn’t sure it would be effective.

But yeah, I ended up being pleasantly surprised that the product actually worked pretty well at absorbing excess oil, and not leaving any chalky residue or had any unpleasant side effects like scalp irritation/dandruff. So, 10/10 would recommend, and I’m sort of curious to test out the other fragrances.

Things I Love Thursday

I think the people on my instagram feed are probably irritated with me by now, since I kept spamming about the NIKE AIRFORCE 1 SPECIAL FIELD shoes:

And because I had to clear a thirty dollar Converse voucher, thanks to my brother, I took a little sidetrip and bought a jacket (mainly because I already have 3 pairs of Converse shoes, and I cannot justify more sneakers for now). I think I really like it – the buttons are cool, the design is so classic, and the hint of mint green on the cuffs/collars are a nice touch.

Went to listen to Boris Berezovsky live, and like, fuck, it was amazing. The way he plays, well, it just made everything look effortless. I was a little miffed when the programme was changed last minute, because I had wanted to listen to the original set list, but the change featured an all-Russian showcase, which was also pretty cool, since I was unfamiliar with the works of Mily Balakirev and Anatol Liadov.

And also dinner after the show at Alter Ego. It might be anti-social of me to say so, but I really enjoy eating on my own. Here’s some post-concert chips and a good cider.

In other news, I’ve finally picked up my Edward Elric nendoroid, and he is so goddamn adorable. I still have a lot of them nendoroids in their boxes, but opening them would just incur the wrath of the parental authority, so Ed is currently sitting snugly in his box on my office desk.

It’s been a while since the last time I stepped into a karaoke place, so obviously I had to go spam whatever new songs I’ve been listening to, and also because I rarely get to sing Chinese pop songs, since I tend to go singing with friends who don’t understand Chinese, hence I’m not likely to pick Chinese songs. It doesn’t help that the songs I listen to tend to be outside of their scope as well… But yes, getting to sing stuff by 华晨宇/信, so cathartic, lol


inspired by the cut on my hand; a random drabble that may or may not go anywhere.

She jerked awake as white-hot pain flashed across her chest. With one hand pressed against her breast bone, she gasped. The last time she felt this intense pain… it was one year ago, almost. She could still remember the moment with great clarity – rushing out of a darkened theatre, abandoning her friends to their flurry of questions, she had rushed home, but it was too late.

The notion that twins could somehow sense each other’s emotions, while a theory that had consistently debunked by scientists, was something that happened to her –

The first time Evan broke his arm, and the accompanying sharp jolts of pain
Every single time she had a terrible migraine, and the pain that Evan felt
And the last time she saw her brother alive…

How could she feel pain anymore? She had thought her ability to feel pain of any sorts had left with Evan, when she saw the coffin descend into the ground and covered with the stillness of earth.

Celebrity Crush: 华晨宇

Described as being a musical genius from Mars, Hua Chen Yu is known for having powerful vocals, charismatic stage presence, and a gift for composing.

He first rose to fame via Superboy in 2013, a Chinese singing competition, in which he managed to clinch first place. He demonstrated his ability to convey a multitude of emotions through his singing by performing a self-composed piece with no words. (And also his social awkward personality XD). The song was written as a response to his isolated nature, and through it, you can hear his agony and yearning.

No, I can’t say that I paid attention to him through this competition because it didn’t air here, and I wasn’t that bored to check out random singing competitions on Youtube for no good reason.

The first song that I heard was 我管你 (Loosely translated as I Don’t Care), and sort of fell in love with the lyrics and the attitude it described:

花臂或刺頭 應該沒說明我所有
我不找藉口 懂的人自然能看透
沒想辯解太多 別用外表解說我
誤解不願反駁 我拒絕只談如果
管你什麼想法 我是我自己的表達
管你什麼看法 我的世界我來浮誇

Basically you can sum up the lyrics as ‘I don’t care what you think of me, I’m gonna do as I please. There’s no need for excuses, the people who understand me will relate.’

I’m not going to lie, lyrics like these resonate with me, even though I’m hardly the devil-may-care person that he depicts. Oh, I want to be like that, but I am shackled by the limits that I have allowed people to place on me for now.

But yes, I started to check out his other stuff, which lead me to a lot of great songs – covers that he did for other singing-based contests or just covers he performed during his concerts. He has a great range, just listen to his cover of 陈粒’s 易燃易爆炸. He is also proficient at rapping, even though that’s not something I can really judge, since I don’t really listen much to rap.

I decided to write up this post after learning that he’s on Singer 2018, and idk, I guess I wanted to gush about a great singer? He did a brilliant take on Jay Chou’s 双截棍 recently, combining alternative rock, rap and traditional Beijing opera into one.

Also, I like his serious attitude towards music – it’s not about creating something that would please audiences, it’s to create something you would be proud of, something that is up to the level that you wanted, the vision you had in your mind.

But when we’re not talking about music? This is one heck of a quirky person. He’s obviously Aquarius (born on 7 Feb 1990), but without a birth time, it’s not like we can check out his other planets, but idk, can I guess that he has either Scorpio or Taurus rising? (lol)

When not obsessed with music, he is super into food, as you can see from the many videos where he is caught eating and eating and eating without caring about his ‘idol’ image:

And his answers to questions tend to be on the spacey hilarious side:

But yes, overall, 10/10 would recommend his music and his adorable nature. (Can’t believe he’s older than me, haha).

The many faces of 花花:

Image credits: [1][2][3][4][5][6]

(Also, not gonna lie, I like how the first word in his name, aka his surname, is the last word in my Chinese name. As in, it makes me feel a little better about my Chinese name, since I don’t really like it. It’s so uncool, lol)

Things I Love Thursday

It’s bit a long while since I did one of these. *cracks knuckles* Let’s go~

So I did blue hair last year when I was in Japan, but it didn’t last too long. So… second time lucky maybe?

It’s been holding up longer than the first time, which is probably because I bleached it twice this time round. And do you know how long the entire process frigging took? Nearly 5 hours D: I don’t know how I survived in the salon chair… Oh the joys of wanting unnatural hair colours. (I looked at my bleached hair, and I think once this blue has faded, I can probably try to bleach it again to go for Sephiroth hair… which will reallllllly not last since it’s so light.)

Happy Lunar New Year~ :D which means LONG BREAK FROM WORK! (That’s the main thing I’m looking forward to. Plus collecting free money is always a win) But yes, new year, hopefully more new posts. (I only had 9 posts in 2017! As compared to 285 in 2014, which is the most I ever had)

Recent movies I caught:

Image credits: [1] [2] [3]

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri: touted as a dark comedy, and sure, there are some comedic moments, but I think overall, but the overall feeling was less funny, and more bleak. The reason that started the whole billboard situation did not get resolved, even though there was a small amount of closure, but it’s left ambiguous in the end. The story follows Mildred, who is a battle-hardened woman. She has grit and guts, and the portrayal of her pain is tangible, almost.

The Shape of Water: I love the aesthetics, but to be honest, the plot is cliched and there are loopholes here and there. But the setting and the music was A+. Not sure how I feel about the fishman and the main character getting it on… it’s just hmmm, scaly? Okay, I know, that’s not the point, but can i just say that you can have ugly male characters getting it on with good looking female characters, but you don’t seem to have it vice versa?

Black Panther: Okay, can I just point out how adorable Letitia Wright is? Re the movie, of course, the storyline is predictable, but do we go into a superhero/Marvel movie and ask for something unpredictable? No, of course we don’t. All we want from the good people at Marvel is just the basics – don’t fuck up the characters and stories, give us the witty banter, throw in some eye candy, and we good.

I nearly died laughing during this Gintama episode, which was exacerbated by the fact that I was eating dinner at the time. But yes, catching up with all the Gintama episodes that I haven’t been watching because I got too lazy, even though it is so good!!

I marathon-ed season 2 of Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency because it was just that good that I couldn’t stop. Seriously the momentum, it’s like bam bam bam, you just got to keep going. Also, fucking hell, they need to start working on season 3 like, one month ago. C’mon Netflix, we need you to step up and keep it alive. There are so many open questions that we need to get answers to!

This is like so olldddddd, but Thomas is adorable in this, I didn’t know he used to sing for Emerald either! It’s sort of good that he didn’t end up in Dragonforce because he’s perfect in Gloryhammer.

Slowly trying to hit my target of 40 books this year, which is really such a pathetically low number. If only we could count all the fanfics, because I read a shitton of those every year, especially when they stop airing my shows – like, I’m already hitting up AO3 for them Dirk Gently fic, you know?

In other frivolous news, I caved and got myself yet another one of these ‘lucky packs’, after the disappointment from Beautylish’s own version. There are some decent items inside, but idk, I’m not really feeling it, but the value of the items were really as promised.

AND FINALLY, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, I PRESENT TO YOU, MYV~ no seriously, I got into j-rock when I was about 12, and I’ve been lamenting the fact that so little of these j-rock bands will come over here and perform, whereas we get all those lame kpop shit shelling tickets at insane prices. But hello, MYV~ thank you for coming down and please let your fellow brethren see that Singapore is also a good place to hold concerts. (Calling X Japan, Matenrou Opera, Satsuki, Plastic Tree especially)

Captive Prince Trilogy

I re-read the Captive Prince trilogy a couple of weeks back, and have been procrastinating on this post, mainly because there’s always not enough hours in a day.

Not really going to post a full-blown review, but here’s the gist of the story:

– Damen is the crown prince of Akielos, which is based on Greece
– He has a shitty older brother who is denied of the throne on the basis of the fact that he is the bastard son
– As such, he decides to capture Damen and send him to Vere, a rival kingdom, as a slave
– The Regent of Vere, who is uncle to the rightful heir, sees a cruel joke here, and gifts him to his nephew, Laurent
– Laurent hates Damen on first sight because Akielos is the reason why he has a shitty time after the Crown Prince of Akielos has killed his older brother in a war, right after his father was killed in the same war
– Laurent and Damen hate each other, yet they have no chance but to learn to work together in order to get what they want – their thrones

The first time I read it back in 2008 when it was still on Livejournal as a web series, I was okay with the premise, like the whole slavery/master-pet thing was a trope I could get into, but this time round, after 10 years, the trope just turned my stomach the wrong way round. Is this a sign of growing up? Perhaps, but it’s not like I didn’t know slavery is bad back then, but maybe it’s more like less of empathy, and more ‘watching from the sidelines’? idk, I suspect I’m not making much sense, but I just wanted to sort of convey how my thoughts have changed over the years.

But yeah, slavery, rape, torture – these are bad things. However, I don’t think it warranted the unhappy/disgusted reviews on Goodreads. Mainly because c’mon, guys, look at the setting of the story, things were shitty back then, and people don’t always get to enjoy the rights that we have now.

One thing that I really liked was the idea of the ‘Captive Prince’. Damen was the prince captured and sent to an unfriendly country as a prisoner – so on first glance, he’s the captive prince of the story. Plus the story is written in his perspective.

But then again, we have Laurent, who is free in all but reality. He is caught, like a caged bird in his own palace, since he can’t move freely and do as he wishes. He has few, if any, allies in his ‘match’ against the Regent who enjoys humiliating him at every turn. Plus, if you looked at descriptions of Laurent, you’d see that he is constantly written as ‘laced into his clothing’, like even his attire restricts him, and he is always in control of himself/unable to let go, in a way.

So the whole idea of who is the actual captive prince is ambiguous, or rather, maybe both of them are captive princes, which then leads to the third book’s title of ‘Kings Rising’, to signify that instead of then being singular ‘princes’, they are together as kings.

But yeah, enough rambling from me.

谁哭着/谁笑着: 一人分饰两个角色 | a playlist for the pisces heart

The beat of her wings rests upon our ears
like distant thunder
like the strike of the moon across the hot black sky
She is a rising star and a falling thought
the sweet caress of the mind washed smooth by sleep

01 Kingdom Hearts – Dearly Beloved 2017 (Kyle Landry)
02 張惠妹 – 默
(忍不住化身一条固执的鱼 逆着洋流独自游到底)
03 Plastic Tree – Alone Again, Wonderful World
(アローンアゲイン 頼りない世界。グルグル、いつまでも回る。| うずまく心は七色。)
04 The Rasmus – Paradise
(I was trying to find a better way but every day’s the same | I’m trying to break the numbness and it’s driving me insane)
05 Fall Out Boy – Wilson (Expensive Mistakes)
(I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color)
06 華晨宇 – 異類
(当听到我撕裂的声音 | 就算被这个世界冷眼被人们所敌对 | 也无所谓那就请你当我是个异类)
07 Rentrer en Soi – I hate myself and want to
(誰も救ってはくれない あぁ滲(し)み潰される 苦悩に溺れた 自分を殺したい)
08 Alan Walker feat. Noah Cyrus with Digital Farm Animals – All Falls Down
(‘Cause when it all falls down, then whatever)