1000 questions left unanswered

is it strange that other people are more concerned about my future than I am?

remember my crappy old boss? the one who made me press all the phone numbers before handing her the receiver? yeah, she recently came up to me and asked me about what I’m planning to do once my contract is up (which will be in May 2016, if anyone is considering to send jobs my way. universe, I’m sending a SOS to you, if you’re hearing me.)

basically she was like, this current role has no future or development, and you shouldn’t be wasting your time. I think you should go into policy, you’re good at writing things. I hear that they might be hiring people upstairs, and if so, I’ll help you pass your name along and see if they will get back to you and offer you something.

which made me feel kind of bad, because we (as in my fellow coworkers and I) have been dissing her now and then… and here I am, accepting her assistance.

I don’t deserve getting her help for being such a two-faced bitch behind her back, but I also feel strangely detached, like it doesn’t really matter anymore, whether or not I stay on or find some other job.

other adults (not in the office, just older folks in my social circles) have asked me about my plans, my mother asked if I wanted to go back and do my masters or something, and here I am, floundering.

is carving out a career supposed to be so… empty? or is it the fact that I’m not passionate about something? I feel like an unfinished piece of work – like someone was supposed to put a vital ingredient but forgot and now I’m just walking around with a body and lacking a soul?


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