I could write an excessively long self-loathing post, but I thought to myself, why clutter the internet or rather, my own blog, with one more whiny self-pity party? bad feelings come and go, there isn’t really a need to dwell incessantly on them, right? I should just quickly forget the harsh words and hurt feelings, because I’m sure I’m the only person who feels the dull stab of resentment and sadness. why should I be wasting my feelings on things that matter so little to other people? why can’t I be more thick-skinned in my own personal affairs? is it really that necessary to feel hurt over every single thing and then mope over it for such a long time? really, I need to stop this bullshit streak of feeling self-pity, because no one is going to hang around and put a band-aid on my skinned knees. heh.
(a casual acquaintance once told me that he thought I was a lonely person. which made me laugh in his face immediately. how could I be lonely, right? hmm, but maybe I do wish there was someone who could put me as their number one priority? someone I could share secrets with, or kill time with without feeling as though it’s a chore. yes, I’m a selfish person, but surely there must be someone I can show my flaws to? someone I don’t always have to be considerate about? someone who can soothe my hurt feelings?)