ungrateful little shit that I am

So… that’s half of 2014 coming to an end and what have I accomplished so far? It’s a little sad when you realise that all you have to your name is an inadequate sum of money in the bank, some more random crap than last time and lesser fuzzy-wuzzy feelings with regards to the world around you.

The thing is, people keep telling you that life is short and everything, and you want to shake them and tell them that ‘duh. I know, okay, I know, otherwise why on earth would I be feeling like this?!’ So yeah, I’m feeling a little frustrated about things, but I don’t want people to spout platitudes at my face or shove suggestions at me. Yes, I get it, they’re trying to help and I should be appreciative, but okay, you know what, I’m a giant asshole who would like to deal with things by myself with my own methods, like escapism. Okay, let me just do whatever at my own pace because fuck if I can move to someone else’s drum beat.


a thing that I’m slightly worried about?

so this is probably going to sound weird… but then again, one’s concept of weird might be another’s concept of normal.

right, I was with my fellow temps the other day, talking about how much I (and another one of us) like online shopping because the idea of opening our letterboxes and finding a parcel filled with goodies addressed to us directly, is akin to being visited by Santa, even though it’s not Christmas.

and when I got home that evening, I opened my letterbox to find this brown envelope with my name on it with a stamp from Singpost (which meant that this was most likely to be local mail). There wasn’t any return address or anything, so I have no idea who the sender is. Also, this was extremely strange because other than nail polishes, I do not do any online shopping locally. Anyway, I opened it to find a copy of Rat Queens, a comic book that I tweeted as a reminder to myself to acquire through some digital means since I wasn’t invested enough to buy myself a copy. (Yes, I am that cheap.)

the issue at hand: I have no idea who the sender is, and I feel a tad paranoid about someone out there having my address, because a book today, some anthrax in an envelope tomorrow? I don’t know, they could be lulling me into a false sense of security and then bam, I’m dead the next time round?

Things I Love Thursday

Wow, two whole weeks without a TiLT post.

First up, I love all the sales going on:

There’s the Steam Summer Sale, the only time I’m willing to shell out money to buy games because I’m super cheap like that. Seriously, who doesn’t love a good deal?

Also, Kinokuniya’s 20% off for all card members means it’s time to stock up on all of the manga. That’s pretty much the main purpose for my card, since I think buying from Book Depository is still so much cheaper. Reminder to self: get the jrock magazines too~

This is what happens when the library doubles your loan limit. Am I being rather ambitious here? Well, perhaps, you might say so, pointing out the book on quantum mechanics because fuck if I know anything about physics. But hey, gonna still give it a shot, read the first two chapters and develop a throbbing headache, which will cause me to drop the book like a hot potato. At least I tried. Gold star for effort and actually picking up the book and bringing it home. I’m mostly intrigued by The Art of Neil Gaiman, which I am shocked to get my hands on because it’s so frigging new, like not even months, because I remember seeing Neil Gaiman tweet about it! And somehow our library has it already?! Colour me surprised.

Don’t ask me why I need so many nail polishes because I don’t know it either. But they’re just so pretty and I couldn’t resist. Different Dimensions (the first two bottles on the left) and Rainbow Honey (the three bottles in boxes) are both indie brands that I always wanted to try, and A-England (last two bottles) is still my favourite, mostly because they are inspired by Arthurian legends, English poetry and the like.

And I’ve just got around to sticking with my new nightly facial routine:
[1] wash face with Korres’ White Tea fluid Gel Cleanser
[2] use Lush’s Eau Roma toner
[3] follow up with Propolis Magic Ampoule, a serum from Beauty Recipe
[4] lastly, a thin layer of Verite’s All in One Cream as a hydrating moisturiser.

I recently got back to listening to the Welcome to Night Vale podcast and it’s getting really heated up. Seriously, I love how there’s an overarching story line and random things that you once thought weren’t important are now coming together to make a coherent plot. Man, and there’s this feeling of anticipation and excitement thrumming through you… or is it just the Hooded Figures staring at you so intensely that chills are running down your spine?

Just recently got around to the full version of this. Transistor looks pretty awesome actually. It’s developed by Supergiant Games, which also brought us Bastion. I did enjoy Bastion but I keep dying… ;_; so I haven’t actually got around to finishing it yet but just like Bastion’s beautiful soundtrack, Transistor sounds wonderful.

once bitten, twice shy

Nah, that title’s not accurate enough, I think it’s more of a ‘phantom bite, retreat immediately and never try again’.

(Narcissism and self-loathing – they feel like the two sides of the same coin)

I’m sick and tired of people, and I’m sick and tired of myself.

I hate the pettiness that I am so capable of, and I hate the fact that I’m trying to play the ‘eye for an eye’ game with people when they don’t even fucking know we’re playing. Why can’t I just man up and tell whoever that I’m irked at them, why do I have to layer everything with subtle jabs and internal angst and pretend everything is dandy when I can barely contain my own emotions. It’s not fair for everyone involved but I’m too childish to either be honest with people or let go of all my resentments. Obviously it’s easier to be mean and sarcastic and act all holier-than-thou and who doesn’t like the easy route?

I don’t know if my recent foray into emotion-land is fueled by the people I’m surrounded with daily, perhaps their way of thinking has rubbed off me, except one is brutually honest and straightforward. The other person is too much like me, in terms of how we tend to react, and it feels almost like this feedback loop where I find myself mirroring her sometimes. It’s definitely not on purpose, but just somehow it’s like her presence is making me focus more on my emotions instead of repressing and pushing everything into the safe locked box in my head.

So yeah, let all your resentment go, because it’s unhealthy and no one else gives a shit since they’re unaffected and probably too dumb to realise something’s wrong. I mean, if you really want some reaction from people, then go ahead and do something to show your displeasure to those who have pissed you off instead of stewing in your own anger and giving yourself stomach ulcers.

hello internet

so I guess I had a tiny hiatus of 2 weeks because I couldn’t bring myself to type a chunk of text, and then hit the backspace key over and over again.

things I did recently:
– right after recovering from a bout of stomach flu, I went for a sushi buffet with the fellow temps
– watched how to train your dragon 2 and decided that even though hiccup was pretty good looking, his voice ruined everything. also, I love the soundtrack, especially the ending track sung by jonsi who has an amazing voice. (I’m biased because sigur ros is so brilliant.)
– went to the river safari and mooned over the red pandas
– had a farewell dinner for one of the temps at timbre
– ate at tim ho wan and not understanding the hype over it, as well as at hippopotamus and being unimpressed with the slow service.

things I’m reading/watching:
– brooklyn nine-nine is totally up my alley and right there in my parlor
– I’m reading and watching natsume yuujinchou which brings tears to my eyes because it’s so quietly beautiful at times
– I’m generally not one for webcomics because the art is usually inconsistent, and the updates are sporadic at best but this one, I like this one a lot. I’m still working through the archives
– terry pratchett’s reaper man; somehow I like the books that focus on vimes more, and death. but the other books featuring other people? not so much.
– but making money with moist von lipwig is pretty good too. I like his character.
– rereading lois mcmaster bujold’s miles vorkosigan series, especially the earlier stuff, because I like the more unpolished miles better
– I managed to get my hands on the art of neil gaiman (jurong library is the best, I swear), so I’m excited to be reading that.
last week tonight with john oliver is pretty hilarious

things I bought/want to buy:
– got 3 more bottles of nail polishes: a-england’s iseult & sleeping palace and rainbow honey’s ultimate weapon
– finally got my hands on a pair of macbeth shoes, which I have always wanted but somehow never got around to doing so
– I couldn’t leave the river safari’s gift shop without my own red panda, right? >.>
– will be getting around to buying my chergui because the lady at escentials had helped me reserve a bottle.
– thinking of going on zalora and buying more stuff when I really really shouldn’t…
– plus weighing the pros and cons of buying a 3DS.

things I’m looking forward to:
– checking out the new transformers movie this coming week
– watching frankenstein with the chums
– screaming my heart out at the alice nine concert next weekend
– another free half day of work coming soon
– catching more movies: the fault in our stars, 22 jump street

Things I Love Thursday

One more day… to the weekend.

Top of my list this time: No Game No Life. I know, I know, I mentioned previously that I have no interest in watching it… but… the song was just so… catchy and I just somehow couldn’t help myself. But yeah, it’s fun, and I really like the interaction between the two siblings, Sora and Shiro. I don’t really care for the other characters so far, and I’m just rooting for these two socially awkward, too-smart-for-their-own-good siblings. Although if I had kids and they didn’t do anything but stayed home and played video games, I’d smack them so hard they regret leaving the womb. Because why do I have to work when they get to enjoy themselves, okay.

Also, they won my heart with their use of references, like the Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney’s most famous line of ‘Objection’ and a random Skyrim throwaway line, you know, the really popular one about taking an arrow to the knee.

I just finished Cryoburn the other day and it is such a lovely romp with the awesome Miles Vorkosigan, that crafty little bastard. I thought he was much more mellow than in the previous books, which is probably a given, since he’s much older and technically wiser. I still prefer the older books, because ultimately this one was slightly lackluster or maybe my memory has romanticised this idea of Miles and here, he’s not as smart-mouthed and twitchy, haha.

Been OT-ing a lot lately due to an influx of work to plow through, and yeah, my mood has been plummeting faster than stocks during a market crash. But the flip side of staying late at the office means that the trains are relatively empty when I board them, so that’s a plus. These days, I take my victories when I get them, not nit-picking anything at all.

Got two more Memeboxes in the mail~ which is always cool. I love trying out new products, even though not everything is suitable for me, and I guess I just like the anticipation of not knowing what I’ll be getting. *shrug* Maybe I’ll do an unboxing review some other time.

I’m so glad that Pewds decided to continue with his Corpse Party playthrough, because he has a tendency to drop games and he seems to have quite a number of them on his plate already. I know the storyline and the gameplay already but I kind of want to see how he fares. Heh.

And Cry playing Okami~ :DDDD I love this game, it’s so pretty and anything that involves folklore or mythology is a solid win in my books.

Went to check out Strangers’ Reunion with the fellow temps after work and we had quite a fun time there, what with dinner and dessert and a lot of random crapping about.

Their proper food, like your main courses, weren’t anything exciting or revolutionary. They were pretty ordinary, in fact. But I really enjoyed their desserts, we shared a waffle and a cake, which both vanished within 5 minutes of arrival. The service wasn’t too shabby either, since we were quite a troublesome lot: order changes/demand for water + napkins + Tabasco sauce + photo-taking etc.