Things I Love Thursday

It’s going to be a short list this time round, since I have been angstier than an emokid smoking weed, listening to my chemical romance, and putting on the thickest & blackest eyeliner available to mankind.

My first indie nail polish purchase~ :D I got these from Nails Potions during Jessica’s Black Friday sale, which offered 40% off. I made a really small purchase, since I was quite worried about customs regulation. I don’t think nail polishes are allowed to be shipped overseas… and really, shipping can be pretty pricey, especially if you buy more bottles. But man~ they’re so pretty~ :D Especially Lucky Goldfish, which I bought the full size of because it’s stunning.

The other two are adorable in their mini 5 ml bottles, which is good because I cannot imagine finishing an entire bottle of polish actually. (Aaaand they’re cheaper, haha.)

My other Black Friday haul is once again from Shiro Cosmetics, who is simply marvellous and has fantastic products.

I got 2 full sized eyeshadows, 3 samples of lip balm, and 4 eyeshadow samples, and she threw in 2 free ones~ But what made me squee in delight was actually this:

I asked Caitlin to draw me Ed from Full Metal Alchemist drinking milk and she did~! And it’s so adorable and she has legit drawing skills! XD I knew that she’s nice enough to indulge our requests (I’ve seen her drawings of Totoro and Armstrong and they’re hilariously awesome!), but I didn’t dare to pester her for artwork when she’s probably really busy filling orders, but hey, I tried it this time round, and yay~ :D (I’m such a kid, haha.)

Next up~ despite work and other engagements that people have (and for me as well), I managed to meet up with my friends a couple of times. Firstly there was that failed Hobbit movie outing with Faza, which we ended up being too late to catch the film (plus other hijinks) and had dinner instead, and then a larger group meet up with Jorain and the others. Also, I will finally be catching The Hobbit tomorrow, so tgif will be extremely appropriate, because I am anticipating the hell out of the weekend. Time to catch up with all the sleep lost over the entire week.

I’ve been reading Neon Genesis Evangelion: Campus Apocalypse during my commute to and from work. I have pretty much stopped reading the original NGE series because it is just so depressing. I remember that as a teenager, I had a lot of disdain and annoyance for the main character, Shinji, who was this apathetic and useless snivelling coward, incapable of doing anything for himself but apparently mindsets change, because I feel so terribly sad and empathetic regarding his situation. I know he’s still a weak character, hardly the typical shounen hero one would expect (except that this isn’t a SJ title, so I doubt people would expect that…), but yeah, he really had quite the crummy life, and he’s still risking his life everyday to pilot a giant mecha and for what reason? I bet psychologists would love to sit down and pick his brain.

I’m glad to say that this manga series is a spin-off of the original, in which the characters are placed in an alternate universe, and while they’re still so hopelessly broken, things aren’t as epicly screwed up and I don’t know, I think it’s slightly more… lighthearted? As it can possibly be… Ah, I still know that my favourite character will never get a happy ending, though maybe this is less tragic. *sigh* why do the pretty ones go first?

Well, now that I’ve made myself feel sad, I suppose it is time to get off the internet and go to bed so I can properly appreciate the whole tgif phenomenon.

thoughts on work so far

here, have a list of things that is currently wrong in my world

– waking up before 7 am is a terrible punishment, so is attempting to stomach food before 10 am.

– not having a proper desk of my own and no computer to work with is also a sad sad fact when you’re a new contract staff member and we all know how slow and ineffective departments are.

– making me use internet explorer is basically an affront to my senses because I have not used that abysmal browser since the first version of mozilla came onto the scene.

– I hate the fact that someone has to check my work before I can pass it over to my supervisor, as though I am incapable of filling out forms and such.

– I also have a great deal of angst regarding contradictory advice; like one person will tell me to do something this way, and then someone else will correct me later, and no one will take responsibility to tell me who is right/wrong and they condescend to me, saying that I’m wrong. (I can’t ask the first person because they had their last day of work and isn’t in office anymore.)

– I hate feeling like the outsider with the rest of the contract staff, because they’re so frigging chummy with one another already, that they’re planning to go on a vacation together, like, wtf?!

– and I sit in between two of them, so I have to pretend I don’t give a flying eff about them chatting about weekend plans over the top of my head, and they have inside jokes and cute little nicknames and they like to talk about how much they miss the other two people that just left. Yup, I’m chopped liver here, guys, totally feeling the friendly atmosphere.

– also, lunch is awkward as hell. I go with them because I didn’t want to seem stand-offish/unsociable, but conversation is superficial and boring when I talk to them, and they just walk off together while I trail behind, fiddling with my phone.

– have I ever mentioned how much I hate being condescended to? also, it feels as though it is an attack on my intellect. (you can tell me how ugly/fat/mean/whatever and I’ll laugh it off, but if you even imply that I’m dumb, well, that’s the rage button freaking stomped on, the gauntlet thrown contemptuously onto the ground, like I will cut you, bitch.)

– and can I just be annoyed at their lack of good taste in music? like sucky mando-pop/top 40s hits. and how they’re just sooooo not tech-savvy. I want to cry… and I want to work in the IT department or something. (and I’m not even that much of a tech-savvy person, but erm, ctrl-shift-delete should be common knowledge and c’mon, don’t you guys know how to work youtube properly?! and how can you not know what the heck adblock is?! you ‘cool cats’ are around my age, for heaven’s sake.)

– their interests: boyfriends, clubbing, shopping for trendy clothes, lame tv shows (aired on the actual tv channels here) etc. totally not my thing, I can’t even feign interest! and I pride myself on being good enough to make conversation about almost everything, but really, I want to cry at how boring the things they talk about… no one around me seems to appreciate the finer points of literature/fandom/good music.

– lastly, their attitude towards introverted people is like they’re somehow flawed, and need to learn to be extroverted.

whew. letting that out is good. because the baseline is to earn some quick cash and not to make friends. yeeeeah.

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Solstice Scents; Snowshoe Pass

First, have a little back story for today’s chosen scent. I attended the Estonian Philharmonic Chamber Choir with a couple of friends yesterday, and I was completely blown away because they were even more fantastic than I thought. Let me just allow the choral geek in me to gush a little first: the choir comprises of only 26 people, but they managed to sound ten times that size, everyone had impeccable support and their sound was perfectly rounded and warm, even the high notes sounded effortless and easy, and the bass line had this strong resonance in their tones. I also loved their repertoire, especially their focus on Estonian composers. Arvo Pärt, I’ve heard a few of his pieces, and also Veljo Tormis, whose Raua needmine was absolutely intriguing.

Anyway, today’s chosen scent was inspired by Arvo Pärt’s Magnificat. Written in 1989, Magnificat showcases Pärt’s famous tintinnabuli style, which is the blending of two monophonic structural lines (melodic and triadic voice) into an organic cohesive whole, creating a harmony between this one entire tone-rich triad, that brings to mind of a bell ringing. The lyrics of Pärt’s Magnificat is taken from the latin text of the same name, also known as the Canticle of Mary, as it speaks of how ‘[her] soul doth magnify the Lord / and [her] spirit hath rejoiced in God’. Pärt, using the ‘call and response’ technique, has a soprano line written as the call, and the rest of the choir acts as the response, creating a heavily textured sound.

Personally, I found Magnificat to be strangely sparse and almost cold, like a bleak wind howling against grey cliffs. In this desolate landscape, a lone person walks through the moors, eyes fixed against the unchanging horizon, even as the wind teases at their hair. The mood is somber, and there’s this sense of isolation and endlessness, that this notion of loneliness is an eternal one. Which of course, doesn’t mesh with the original content of the piece, being a sublime hymn to the glory of a deity.

But in the little scene conjured up by my imagination, this particular scent seemed particularly fitting.

This is from Solstice Scents’ Winter Collection, Snowshoe Pass.

white amber, white musk, vanilla accord, peppermint cream, cold winds

Description: A chilly white blend of an ethereal snow blanket and cold winter winds, Snowshoe Pass combines pale white amber, delicate and smooth white musk, a sweet touch of vanilla and a faint whisper of creamy cold peppermint. The result is a unique take on a winter scent inspired by heavy snows and desolate rural regions. On cold sniff and initial application a creamy peppermint note is detectable as a top note, though it is a careful addition that takes a backseat to the other notes as it wears on the skin, ultimately receding entirely. There is just enough peppermint to enhance the coolness of this plushly white blend. The other notes swirl together to evoke not only a snow covered landscape that may only be traversed with snowshoes and a pioneer spirit, but the calm and intense silence after a snow deep in the wild.

First off, I have totally no experience with a real winter, where it’s blisteringly cold and you’re on the verge of freezing. I’ve never frolicked in the snow, thrown a snowball or even caught a snowflake on my tongue. (I feel so saaaad now), but Snowshoe Pass does bring to mind of a blanket of whiteness. The scent description given is spot-on, as the first thing that I smell upon application is a creamy peppermint, but it fades soon enough, which is good, because that first sniff is weeeeird, or maybe my mind doesn’t understand why the peppermint note is creamy instead of being sharp and fresh, because my mind thinks peppermint as either toothpaste or throat lozenges. It morphs into this soft white musk and amber blend, that really makes me think of a cold wind moving through the landscape, rustling through empty branches. The vanilla accord adds a touch of sweetness, which makes the scent less harsh and more subtle.

While the longevity of Snowshoe Pass is quite long as compared to other perfumes, I find that this particular scent likes to stay close to my skin, which is actually quite good because this is definitely one of the more unique and complex scents, and it’s not the type that should be amped up and in everyone’s face.

Sacred | Fire Opal | Monarch Butterfly

Does the title make entirely no sense to you? Fret not, I’m not speaking in code or whatever, I was merely listing out the names of the three eyeshadows that I used yesterday.

Fyrinnae Cosmetics is a really popular indie cosmetics company, and well, they do have wonderful products. Pixie Epoxy is pretty much a cult favourite, and many people’s holy grails. It’s similar to Too Faced’s Shadow Insurance Glitter Glue, but waaaay cheaper.

Anyway, they’re probably my first forage into the indie makeup world, and probably the main reason why I believe that indie brands can be better than mainstream companies.

The biggest issue most people have with Fyrinnae is that they tend to close up shop randomly when they’re overwhelmed by orders, and they have a really long TAT (turnabout time) stated, but in my experience, despite saying that it’d take them weeks to ship your order out, it’s usually sent within days.

Here, have some swatches~

I call this my steampunk trio, haha, and I think these three colours are really awesome together, well, kind of duh since they’re neutral colours. But yeah, they seem work-appropriate to me. I’m still iffy about wearing bright shades outside the comforts of my house, where no one is judging me for my choices in eyeshadow colours. Idk, I’m more self-conscious while wearing makeup than when I’m not. Unless I’m doing the ‘no makeup’ makeup look.

Things I Love Thursday

Hello~ first TiLT post of December (I missed last week because of reasons. *cough laziness cough*)

First of all, I got a job doing temp admin stuff, like a good office drone. Obviously this wouldn’t have been on the list of awesome things, but having a job means a steady source of cash will start to flow into my bank account, instead of always being so one-sided, and that means I’ll be able to pay all my bills, and my pesky insurance premiums. That last one irks me the most because it’s a consistent monthly deduction.

Also, being so very on-task (uh, not really), I’ve also gotten all my Christmas shopping done in advance. I would have gotten around to it earlier but I was hoping for all the sales because hey, cheapo person here. But anyway, can I just say that it is haaaaard to shop for little kids that you only see once or twice a year? Like heck, I don’t even know your interests/hobbies/personality, at the very most, I can only buy you super generic, hopefully practical gifts. Which can be kind of sad, because well, it’s like opening a present and realising that you got socks or something along these boring lines. (Of course, I didn’t get anyone socks! Because I’m not their mom.)

When one goes shopping, one inevitably will buy random things as well. I tweeted about this earlier, but man, I am really excited about this, okay. Bear with me here, (also, please note that it’s not ‘bare with me’, alright?!) but this is definitely a holy grail item for me.

Short gist time: Basically, I’m a product junkie, and I like trying out new things. So if you ever see me buying something that I used before, well, that means that the item is really effing worth it. (My mentality is the ‘so many things to try out, so little time!’)

Seriously, I was really bummed out when all the Korres outlets I went to didn’t have this White Tea Gel Cleanser in stock. And this was made worse after a little digging around on the internet that suggested the product was probably discontinued, and I was like, ‘goddamnit, I should have bought backups!’. But hey, it’s back! Albeit in a different packaging, the previous incarnation was in a transparent bottle, but the scent and texture and experience remains quite the same. Yay~ :D

I also succumbed to the washi tape ‘hype’, after reading a friend’s lj post where she mentioned that mt tape (doesn’t mt stand for masking tape… so saying mt tape is actually redundant, no?) doesn’t peel paint off walls. Which makes it the thing that I need to stick all the crap that I want to on my walls. (My mother has this issue with hanging things on walls and potential wall damage.) I got really plain types from Art Friend, just simple stripes and dots, because I didn’t want the tape to overshadow whatever I’ll be sticking up.

And to wrap up the whole shopping experience, well, I had some pretty nice human interaction with random strangers. Despite the fact that town was pretty crowded, what with all the parents hanging out with their kids (and probably clearing leave as well), people were pretty polite, you know, making way for others, not jostling about or letting their kids throw tantrums, or being bitchy to salespeople. So yay, humans, good job at not being douchebags while shopping during the holiday season! (Let’s hope they keep this up till the Lunar New Year stampede at least.)

Let’s move on to an awkward segue about hanging out with friends then, now that I’ve talked about strangers. December means that finals are pretty much over and everyone’s in that post-exam haze. Although I’m no longer hassled by papers and word counts and angsting over topics, most of my friends are still going through that, so I have been pretty much hanging out by my lonesone. Well, dating myself is pretty awesome actually, I’m super easy to please, like, ‘let’s go to the library and steal all the comic books/let’s stay in and lie in bed and pretend to be a starfish~’

But anyway, back on topic, I finally got to meet up with Faza and Sofia last weekend, and also, more importantly cats were in the equation too. It should surprise no one that I’m very fond of cats (Also dogs, because I don’t discriminate. Unless your pet is something lame like hamsters or fish.), but I’m not allowed to own any. The overt reason is because my mother is allergic to fur, but I think we all know that giving me responsibility over a creature’s life is insane and terribly bad for everyone involved.

But anyway, yeah, cats~ or rather one cat and two kittens :D Oh, and yeah, hanging out with my friends! (Yeah, riiiiggght, it’s mainly for the cats~)

Also, while Nanowrimo is over and I failed to make the word count because I’m a fantastic procrastinator, I still write bits and pieces of fanfic when I’m out by myself somewhere with a nice cup of tea. So yeah, a couple of paragraphs here and there, just to stop myself from becoming so rusty from never using my proper words. Blogging doesn’t count, obviously, since I can write in whatever form I like. (Oh, like fanfic is so ‘proper’ eh, what, d’you put references and foot notes? / ‘Course not, you think you’re Terry Pratchett?)

I got around to finishing Miranda Hart’s book the other day, and I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Other than a couple of panel shows here and there, I’ve never watched anything featuring Miranda Hart before, and I find that although she looks a tad frumpy/crazy, she’s a perfectly lovely person and I suspect she’s probably what I’m going to be like when I turn 38 myself. Oh dear. But really, I guess I can relate to the various issues she brings up.

I’ve also managed to catch up with Season 2 of Elementary in two days! There has been only 10 episodes, and I’m eagerly anticipating next one. Sherlock is slowly becoming more human, and I’m a little sad to say this, but I kind of thought that he got a littler dumber… or hey, maybe Joan got way smarter, haha. Idk, but yes, Joan Watson, this woman is really my favourite character (also, she seems to be the only recurring female character, why??). She’s badass when she needs to be, like knocking Sherlock down a peg or two/picking locks like a pro (even though she’s new to this whole consulting detective thing), but she can also be really sweet too, towards people who need that bit of kindness. Also, Lucy Liu, she’s really pretty and I actually like the outfits the wardrobe department puts her in. Side note, I think Sherlock also got quite cleaned up in this new season, more formal clothes as compared to the tshirt and jeans ensemble in the first series.

Other things I’ve been watching: The Office (US version) and Almost Human, both series are really enjoyable, for different reasons. The Office has Jim and Dwight and Pam and Michael, all a tad annoying, especially Michael, who causes all the cringe, but still, office pranks! Always relevant (since I’m gonna be working in one… D:). Almost Human is pretty interesting, and hey, Karl Urban, right?

Alright, I’m gonna end this post here, because I’m knackered out from all the walking I did earlier, seriously, why did I walk 5 mrt stations under the hot sun?! Oh and let me just apologize belatedly for the abuse of parentheses. And if you read through all the chunk of words, well, you are made of awesomesauce and golden stardust.

So, Tell Me About Yourself

I went for three interviews so far, and all three of them opened with this little question: ‘Tell me a little about yourself’.

It’s not that I can’t talk about myself, gods know that I can be quite the narcissist, and my favourite subjects would always be my opinions on various things. But idk, I have clear demarcations with people, depending on my relationships with them. For instance, I’d find it hard to be friends with teachers/parental figures, I instinctively shy away from people in authoritative positions. I’m not scared of them or anything, but there’s also this distrust of people with power, because I expect the worst in everyone, I suppose.

So obviously I have issues talking about myself to complete strangers who are the ones in control of the situation, because they’re the ones scrutinizing the things that I say, whereas I hope that whatever comes out of my mouth sounds coherent and logical.

Besides, it’s not as though I can treat them as my peers, where shooting the breeze and making pointless small talk is generally quite easy, you know, throw in something about school or recent popular culture stuff, and that basically takes care of the conversation, as in you’d either realise that you have nothing in common or you’d make good friends. On the other hand, it’s not like you can be too self-deprecating in front of your potential employer, because you don’t want to sell yourself down, but still modesty is a good thing. (One interviewer basically asked me point-blank how important I deemed money. Which I thought was kind of too… straightforward? Or maybe I’m just too old-fashioned, and talking about money and being materialistic is not rude anymore.)

Also, I doubt future employers would be too impressed by my wonderful knowledge of internet memes and popular culture. Like seriously, if only I could get hired by knowing how to best utilise the confession bear/unpopular puffin/random hilarious gifs, right?

I think ultimately, I value privacy really highly, like I don’t want to tell random people about myself (which contradicts my opening paragraph but I’m a contradictory bitch). The way I see it, I have this persona that I use to approach the world with, because all the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. I can play up/play down this persona however I choose it, but hey, I found that lately, when dealing with people, I’m choosing to act like a polite/uptight bitch, you know, the kind that gasps at terrible manners and secretly insults you with backhanded compliments. Idk, I feel bitchy these days, haha.

Bedroom Picspam Because Reasons.

Sometimes I get restless and I decide to clean my room, other times, I don’t give a damn about anything. Guess which mood am I feeling, eh.

So yeah, this morning, I cranked up the metaphorical stereo, because my laptop speakers are actually pretty shitty, went to Youtube for a full Within Temptation concert and basically cleaned everything, including my wardrobe.

members only clubs

You know the one thing that irked me most in most areas of occult traditions? It’s the elitism or the sense of exclusion that some people have, and this ‘we’re better than you’ attitude really pisses the hell out of me.

I think this notion of superiority can be found in different places. For instance there’s Norse paganism/Asatru, where some people forget that Heathenry is an open tradition, and instead they get all worked up about non-white/Scandinavian people who practise Norse paganism. Also, the Asatru tradition has some associations with various fascist organizations, interested in promoting white supremacy.

I remember a not-so-recent article where someone made a disparaging remark in the comment section, that ‘wicca should be reserved for whites’ because ‘other races have their own pagan traditions’. Of course, Wicca and Asatru are not the same thing, but I think these people share the same mindset, that ‘hey, non-white people should back off and go worship their own deities’, and that ‘only white people are allowed in this exclusive club’. To which I find myself rolling my eyes slightly because does that mean that white people cannot worship deities in other pantheons, like the Egyptian/Hindu deities? I would think that Isis is a very popular Goddess to follow, and many people seem to like invoking Ganesh when it comes to helping them deal with certain problems. And come on, does this also mean that white people aren’t allowed to be Buddhists as well? Since Buddhism began in India too. Obviously this doesn’t make any sense, that people should exclude others just because of their skin colour. (I can’t help but recall all the Christian missionaries who stop and ask me if I’ve heard of Jesus, now there’s a wide racial palette there. But seriously, why do they keep trying to convert me? Do I look like easy prey? But that’s a question for another day.)

And then we go to the other side of the coin, when it comes to Native American traditions. Don’t we all cringe when we see someone not of Native American descent wearing a feathered headdress? That’s because in contrast with Paganism, Native American practice needs a specific, quantifiable claim such as requiring proof that one was descended from a particular tribe.

Paganism, has no such manner of forcing people to identify themselves, basically because it’s so broad in terms of the traditions. I mean if you look at it, most practitioners work with a wide variety of deities from various pantheons. I believe that we cannot help who calls to us, only that if a deity has something to teach you, we shut up and listen closely.

Of course, I’m not saying that we should become adopt monoculture, and become colour-blind, because the former would mean reduce the importance of cultural diversity and the latter would mean that we’re ignoring the struggles of other people when it come to the problems that they might have faced because of their race. I’m probably not doing a good job of explaining myself here, but it’s really quite a hefty thing to talk about, and hardly easy to convey through a couple of sentences. Maybe I’ll expand on it further in a separate post.

Instead, I’ll let someone more experienced say it for me, when it comes to answering the question, ‘who is allowed to practise the faith?’ – ‘anyone who makes a sufficient effort to understand and adopt the culture of the ancient heathens’. Don’t just take blindly just because it looks cool, like wearing the bindi dot when you’re not a Hindu, and forgetting that people might be offended because of the item appropriated loses its significance and meaning from your actions.

This notion of exclusivity isn’t restricted to Paganism. I have seen it around in other occult practices too. This isn’t based on racial lines, but rather credentials. It’s really quite a minor thing but it got me thinking too. A couple of people got a little worked up over the fact that someone from a band wrote the foreword to a book collecting the works of Aleister Crowley, and basically the gist was that because he wasn’t an authority on Crowley, he shouldn’t be the one writing the foreword. The guy in question is an occultist himself, and he practises magical intents through his music, so I really don’t see what is so wrong about asking him to write on his experiences with Crowley’s work, and I must say that I enjoyed reading the foreword. Also, this is occultism, what kind of credentials are you looking for? What, only proper academics should be considered? Like high priests/OTO members/what?

… okay, I guess I’m done ranting…

Alchimia Apothecary; Sex and Violets

Alchimia Apothecary came to my attention on one of the subreddits I browse. It’s a relatively new store, considering that they only opened last July. Other than perfumes, they also stock facial products and salves for general uses. The etsy store was having a buy two get one free sale, so obviously I broke my no-buy spell before all the Black Friday sales started and went ahead and got 3 sets of samples. That’s 15 new scents to play with~ Basically, I got bored with all the stuff I already have, and new things are always fascinating, so that’s my justification.

Sex and Violets, I don’t know what image your mind would conjure up after hearing the name, for me it was something musky and evocative, with a slight hint of floral notes. Of course that isn’t how the perfume smelled like, but I’m just saying that’s the mental image I got. But then again, I don’t know why I thought that, because I know what notes were used. I guess I was just trying to make conversation, y’know.

Right, back to the point, which is actually talking about the scent and not my weird mind. From the description given: Just as sirens were dangerous and beautiful creatures, so is this sinful scent. Being known as the femme fatales of the mythological world, sirens lured men in with their sad and sexy songs.

This rich elixir is sweet and playful, yet sexy and mysterious. The sweet floral body of violets blends perfectly with playful juicy peaches and exotic freesia.

Is this scent sinful? Noooo, unless fruity floral scents are sinful in your opinion. But mainly, I found Sex and Violets to be a very sweet and clean scent. It’s soft, in terms of sillage as well as its attitude. This isn’t a scent that goes around shouting to people, ‘hey, look over here’. It’s subtle and light, more like the comforting presence of the girl next door.

The scent starts off smelling like peaches, fruity and familiar, because I actually know how peaches smell like and I don’t have to second-guess myself, like, ‘is this how magnolia smells like or is this benzoin resin?’. Although it’s not in the notes given, I can somehow smell a hint of jasmine, it’s in the background and quite muted. Or maybe this is how freesia is supposed to smell like. Haha, obviously I don’t know my plants, but I don’t think I’ve seen freesia before, let alone smelled it. Maybe the jasmine is actually the freesia, heh. I don’t quite get the violet bit, since my notion of violet is a powdery sort of scent, but it’s not showing up here.

Overall, this is a very pretty scent, it’s light and its longevity is about 3 to 4 hours, so I guess I’d be wearing this out on low-key days where I just want to grab something easy and nothing too complex/overwhelming or you know, a more conservative scent is more appropriate for the occasion.